


Be with me

by Is_Olivia_even_a_person



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Deserved Better, Ben Solo Dies, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Canon Compliant, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Growing Old, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, POV Rey (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey (Star Wars) is a Mess, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, The Force Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26814892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Is_Olivia_even_a_person/pseuds/Is_Olivia_even_a_person
Summary: So every night Rey lies awake and whispers his name into the darkness...Be with me. Be with me, Ben.And she never gets an answer
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19





	Be with me

They say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time when somebody says your name for the last time.

Every night Rey lies awake and whispers those three words. She clutches his torn sweater which is already losing his smell while tears are running down her cheek silently.  
She feels numb and torn apart at the same time. She stares at the ceiling of the Falcon and fails her attempt to reach him every single night.

At first she is angry at him that he gave up his life for her and left her behind like everybody else did in her life.  
Time passes and she understands why he did it….  
She has lost the other half of her soul and everything she ever went through is nothing compared to the pain she feels now. 

So every night Rey lies awake and whispers his name into the darkness… 

_Be with me. Be with me, Ben._

And she never gets an answer. 

Time heals every wound they tell her. It’s true, she supposes.

Months pass and Palpatine leaves her nightmares.  
Rey slowly starts to heal; his cruel laughter doesn’t haunt her anymore and the horror she lived through on Exegol doesn’t make her wake up in cold sweat anymore.  
She knows that these scars will never truly leave her, but they will heal. Some faster than others. 

The wound that Ben left behind, however, doesn’t heal. She feels like half of her soul is missing, cruelly ripped away when they had just found each other.  
She is torn apart, unbalanced and she can’t shake the feeling of suffocating loneliness even when she is surrounded by the people she loves. 

Her friends are worried about her. It takes months until she can tell them about Ben and their force bond.  
They try to act supportive like good friends would do, but they don’t understand her grief and her love for Ben…  
although over time they slowly accept his part in saving the galaxy from Palpatine’s cruel clutch.

From time to time Rey catches a glimpse of Force ghosts visiting her. She sees Leia and Luke, but ignores them every time.  
Only once she finds the strenght to talk to them and she just asks why they didn’t help him. Why they left him to die in that pit on Exegol. Why they left her to die after they used her to defeat Palpatine. 

They only tell her that Ben isn’t with them and that he is caught between life and death.  
She finally knows why he never answers and cries harder than ever before. 

She still whispers his name before falling asleep. It becomes her anchor in hard times. 

Rey moves on. It takes her many months until she accepts that the loneliness in her chest that the other part of her soul left behind will never go away, but she is ready for a new chapter in her life. 

Rey takes the Falcon and travels the galaxy. She visits Naboo to bury the lightsabers in rich soil near a beautiful lake.  
Leia had told her once that her mother had lived here and had spent her happiest days on her home planet.  
Naboo is peaceful and balanced when she reaches out in the Force and she decides it is a good place to lay the skywalker legacy to rest.  
So she stays a while and spends her days exploring. She is still mesmerized by how much life and green exist in the galaxy. 

She visits planets and moons all over the galaxy, never spending much time in one place, but always ready to meet new people and different cultures and learn new languages. She is helping where she can to rebuild what the war left behind and restore peace.

One time Rey stops on Kef-Bir. She wanders through the ruins of the Death Star and she can still feel his presence lingering clearly in the Force even though it’s been two year since they have fought each other. Him returning into the light in him again and her almost succumbing to her darkness. 

She sinks to her knees at the place where he turned to the light, overwhelmed by the intensity of being so close to him again.  
Tears pooling in her eyes and her heart aching. She can feel him so clearly in the Force, so strong in the light yet still surrounded by darkness.  
She extends her hand and calls into the Force. It takes a moment, but his cross-guard lightsaber flies effortlessly into her hand.  
She knows that it doesn’t belong anymore to the person she misses so dearly … but she doesn’t have anything else to remember him besides his torn sweater and her fading memory.

At night Rey lies awake and whispers his name while playing with his cracked kyber crystal. 

She decides to heal it … she reaches out and wraps it in the Force, slowly healing its cracks and scars. It reminds her so much of his Force signature and it heals the wound in her chest at least a little bit.  
From that day on she keeps his healed kyber crystal always close to her, wearing it over her heart. 

Before Rey is ready to find her friends again and face her future she returns one last time to Ahch-To. The place where she first learned to tame the Force. The first time she has seen behind the cracks of his mask.  
She wonders about the vision she had when they had touched hands across the stars.  
The vision of their future that never came true... she decides that the Force is cruel for showing her a future with her soulmate and their small family yet ripping it away from her anyway.  
She leaves for good. The memories are too painful. 

When Rey returns to her friends they welcome her with open arms. Poe is still a General and is worked up in rebuilding a new government. So do Finn and Rose even though later in life they mostly stay away from politics.  
Rey is happy to have her friends around. She slowly works through her grieve and trauma with them. 

One day she finally feels ready to start teaching force sensitive children. Finn is helping her building the school on a small moon. It’s a quiet and peaceful place near a lake and green, soft meadows.  
She teaches Finn even though he isn’t nearly as force-sensitive as herself or Ben. He never will be a Jedi, but he is fine with it. He has found his destiny in leading the Stormtrooper programm he set up with Rose after the war.  
She is proud of her friends; rebuilding a galaxy and helping so many people to find peace and love again.They are working together for a better future regardless of their painful past. 

Rey finds her destiny in her school. She doesn’t feel responsible for some kind of old religion and definitely has no intend to repeat the mistakes the Jedi already made before her.  
She doesn’t keep the children from their families and doesn’t forbid attachments. She tries to teach balance between the light and the dark… even though she is unbalanced herself.  
It reminds her painfully that she is no real Jedi, and that the one person who should he here with her is gone. 

She still whispers his name in the dark. It helps her sleep at night and keeps her nightmares at bay. 

Years turn into decades and there are so many happy moments. Too many to count.  
Finn and Poe’s wedding make her dance and laugh all night. Rose’s first child being born makes her a part of a new found family, and she loves her godchild fiercely since the first time she held him in her arms.  
Teaching brings her so much joy… she loves the sparkling children’s eyes when she tells them about the Force and when they reach out into the Force for themselves for the first time.  
The monthly meet-ups with her friends are her favorite evenings, especially when they all grow older still talking about their adventures together and wondering where all the time went. 

The bad nights, however, never leave her. She cries often when  
she succumbs into her loneliness and into the open wound in her chest where he is missing again.  
It gets worse when she realizes that she can’t recall how his voice sounded or how his lips tasted.  
Desperately she tries to remember the details of his face; his warm eyes, soft hair and his moles and tiny imperfections, but her memory fails her. It’s been too many years. 

So she lies awake and whispers his name to calm herself. 

One of the students she trains reminds her so much of herself. She is an orphan, saved from slavery and strong in the Force. Slowly the little girl makes her way into her heart and Rey decides to adopt her.  
She watches her grow up and become a beautiful young woman. She doesn’t feel alone anymore, surrounded by her friends and found family. 

Rey realizes how old she and her friends have grown when Rose’s son and her godchild has children of his own. Old age brings different challenges.  
Moments of joy when new life is born and when her former students take over her school and teach what she has taught them years ago and what they have learned themselves. 

When Poe is the first one to leave her because of old age the grieve is unmeasurable. In her long life she has learned how to deal with grieve and loss all too well and she knows her time will come too.  
She doesn’t fear it. She lived her life to the fullest and has no regrets besides that she could never live the life she would have had with him. 

When her time comes Rey is at peace surrounded by every one she has loved in her life. Her brown hair turned gray and her face full of wrinkles she is ready. 

She remembers the words Rose once told her so so many years ago, a life time ago when the wound in her soul was still fresh.

They say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time when somebody says your name for the last time. 

Rey has whispered his name at night so many times that she has lost count. His name has guided her through her entire life and gave her peace and belonging. 

She whispers his name one last time before she passes and they reunite within the Force. 

Ben is already waiting for her. He looks exactly like she remembers him. Still young and his soft eyes full of love and devotion for her. Tears of happiness are streaming down her face and she feels whole again. 

"I’m sorry you had to wait so long“ she tells him and takes his hand. He tilts his hand and smiles at her. "I will always wait for you, sweetheart.“  
He pulls her into a tight hug and she nuzzles into his soft hair. She melts into his warm sweater and his strong shoulder and whispers his name one last time knowing that he will answer. 

"Ben, I’ve missed you so much.“ His hand runs through her hair and he tells her "I know, sweetheart. I’ve missed you so much. I miss the life we could have had together. But I will never leave you again.“

She squeezes his hand and pulls him into a soft, lingering kiss. She has waited so long to taste his lips again. To feel his warmth and touch again. Her waiting is finally over.  
They have eternity to be with each other. Together at last.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a tweet on my timeline, I hope I did it justice


End file.
